Whose Rule Is It Anyway? (The Hidden Trap)
Stop Should-ing
A mentor once gave me a piece of advice that stuck with me: "Scott, stop should-ing all over yourself."
It made me laugh, but it hit home. I should do this, I should do that.
Says who, exactly?
That moment taught me to start questioning the unwritten rules I follow. Within my TRAPs framework, Rules are the unspoken "shoulds" we place on ourselves and everyone around us.
Rules That Sound Like Responsibility
If you're like me, you've watched leaders who make decision-making look effortless, yet felt that ease disappear when navigating high-stakes choices yourself.
What if the issue isn't the decision, but the old rule you're using to make it?
Take a moment to notice the rules shaping your decisions right now:
"I must respond to every ping immediately."
"I should never let anyone see me unsure."
"I have to stay involved because delegating creates risk."
These rules usually sound like responsibility, discipline, or high standards.
Competence, Control, Composure
I find that most rules fit into three categories:
Competence: (I should know)
Control: (I should be involved)
Composure: (I should seem unaffected)
The Daily Micro-Practice
The next time you catch yourself thinking "I should," stop and ask: Whose rule is this, really?
Next time, we'll look at why these rules get so sticky, and how to break free.
With intention,
Scott
PS. What’s one unwritten rule you catch yourself following right now? Comment and let me know—I read every single one of them.
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Explore Scott’s Frameworks: https://www.scottschultz.co/thought-leadership
